Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize