So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
