watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
