morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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