I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im on a boat
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