I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
