Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
