I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
