RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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