So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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