It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
