she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
