just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
organizing the empties. That sober.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
