am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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