so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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