My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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