I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
