Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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