Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
