Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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