I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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