the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
