That's intense
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
