Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
