I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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