"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we should paint friendship bongs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
