wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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