STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize