yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
