That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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