so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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