On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
