Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize