I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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