I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
