You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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