Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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