I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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