idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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