Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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