I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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