This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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