so explain again why im purple
no
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
