My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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