k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
