Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
