is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
