i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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