can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
