I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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