So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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