I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize