It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
