I wish my penis had an off switch
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
