I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
