handjob tips. give me some.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
