you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
