I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
