so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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