You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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