I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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