Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
