Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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